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I attend a private school with a campus population of about 900. As if this statistic isn't already pathetic enough, the campus is dry and roughly 650 of these sheltered rich kids don't know the reprecusions of giving away even the most miniscule amount of information to residence life officials. They're just mindless creations of their parents' wealth and robotic affection. Deans and resident life officials are THE ENEMY!!! Beware, they may come at you and say, "Hey, if you have anything you ever need to talk about, anything at all...Come to us. We will help you in anyway possible." This is all bullshit! All they really want to get is a student perspective on the drinking scene. Sounds far-fetched and a reflects a little paranoia, but damn it, you've gotta believe me! Wow, I sure went off on a tangent and got side-tracked...Back to the heart of the matter. The number one advice I could ever give any college freshman would be to only trust your very closest circle of friends. College kids obvious lack street smarts and probably never take any morals divulged from Goodfellas true to heart like I do (Only two rules, don't take shit from no one, and never rat on your friends), but again, students, especially pasty fat girls with underbites and pony-tails tied too tight will always rat you out! Take aim...Take dead aim, get them in the cross-hairs and don't ever be afraid to pull the trigger. Take them out at all costs, for their obesity is the future of our country.
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