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Suge Knight signs "Web" a Recording Deal

The popular former star of the critically acclaimed TV series "Webster" hasjust signed a six record deal worth a reported $1.2 million. This comes on the heels of Lewis' controversial decision to turn down an offer from Kid Rock to replace that midget guy - what's his name - that died.
Isn't she a beaut?
Shorty wanna be a thug

When asked why Webster, Death Row Records CEO Suge Knight seemed thoughtful and pensive. "Since I was incarcerated, I had a lot of time to think about the mistakes that I've made in the past. When Tupac was shot we really learned a tough lesson. Maybe Web isn't as intimidating as some of our former artists, but he has the qualities that really count in this industry. He's small and deceptively fast. Really hard to hit."

Suge added, "He fits perfectly in the glovebox of my Lincoln Navigator."

"I just turned 30 and I still have people coming up to me pinching my cheeks and calling me 'cutie'. I did one little sitcom and I've been typecast as a short, loveable little kid ever since," Web said, "I'm never going to grow out of it."

According the Death Row publicist Gary Coleman, "Web" has already begun recording his first single "Ma'am and George's House". The album, due out in early September, is to be called "World Wide Web".