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February- How to Properly Wake Up From A Hangover

How many times have you had a crazy night of drinking, only to wake up feeling like a bag of hot garbage. You get quickly to run to the bathroom, but fall back just as hard wishing you were dead. Here is the proper way to avoid this intense dizziness and headache.

Step 1- Acknowledge the fact that the last thing you remember was that flowerpot of vodka you were dared to chug.

Step 2- Slowly open your eyes and hope to God that you're not lying butt-naked on some basement floor.


Step 3- Whew! Ok, you're in a bed...This is clutch because the dizziness usually doesn't kick in until you're upright. The common mistake most people make is that because they don't feel like crap laying down, they get up quickly, only to feel like they just took a hit by Tyson. My advice is to very, very slowly sit up.


Step 4- Congratulations! You've made it past the hardest part. Now, simply get to your feet and get some grub...Wrong idiot! You forgot to look over and see if that hot chick you been oggling over in history 101 is lying next to you! If so, get your ass back in bed. If not, proceed to your feet as slowly as you sat up.


Step 5- OK, everything seems fine. Now your task is to make it to the fridge and see if any of your alcohol is left (This can sometimes be the most devastating mission).

Step 6- Alright, still got six Bud's left. You're the mack! Now go chug some water and aspirin. Then go to the cafeteria to get some greasy food (sometimes the perfect cure).